Muscles.
Butch
Strong
Tough
Fierce
These aren't words that come to mind
when hearing the words
'Cerebral Palsy'
At least not for the first time.
But they are for me.
In fact, I would use these to describe
others with CP and other physical disabilities.
My Papa's nickname for me as a kid was 'Muscles'.
When he died of smoking and alcohol induced problems
I thought that maybe that was some cruel joke.
But with refection... now I know better.
I think that he saw my inner strength.
Say my ability to fall off a horse and get back on.
To power through the challenges with my disability,
particularly in daily life and at school.
Papa watched me grow and get stronger every day.
Now I'm developing actual muscle through home workouts.
To do that I've had to dedicate time and energy and push through.
Proving wrong what a lot of people may thinking of me,
A women with mild Cerebral Palsy.
And that I can be proud of.
My Papa made a lot of mistakes.
My Mum thinks if he hadn't have dealt with his trauma
using smoking and alcohol he may have been a better man.
I think there is a little of the strength of the 19-year-old who fled
The war in Croatia in the 60's in me.
Every time I encourage and see someone's confidence build.
Every time I vote despite the crowds and unfamiliar people
Every time I don't drink and appreciate my fiancée’s commitment
to me and to not smoke anymore.
Every time we are patient and talk to each other about what our lives have been
We look to the future now.
I think Papa may have offered my future husband a beer
It was how he showed respect and acceptance of someone.
This is how I remember my Papa.
