Knowledge

Knowledge learnt

Knowledge felt

Knowledge understood

Knowledge taken for granted 

Knowledge of listening and asking questions

Knowledge of what is to come 

Knowledge linked with hope

Knowledge linked with empathy 

Knowledge linked with faith

As a Christian I have learnt and feel the knowledge. 

I know that Jesus will come back a restored and heal.

He will welcome in all that recognise and rejoice in his call.

Romans 10:13-15 (NLV) 

"For everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved from the punishment of sin.

But how can they call on him if they have not put their trust in him? And how can they put their trust in him if they have not heard of him? And how can they hear of him unless someone tells them.

To me, this knowledge is a blessing that should be shared to the ends of the earth. 

What knowledge is a blessing to you? 

Men Cry Too

 Men cry too.

Men cry in darkness.

Men cry when eyes are elsewhere.

 

Men get angry.

Men get snappy.

Men get emotional.

 

Men are different.

Men are human.

Men are also in need of support.

 

Men can cry but hold back the tears.

Men can hold back until too late.

Men can be more likely to commit suicide.

 

Men if you shed a tear, we will be there to support you.

Men if you need a hand, we will give you one.

Men if you can admit you need it, we will admire your strength.

 

So, talk to each other, cry to one another.

So, learn to show and share your feelings.

So, accept that opening is hard but is worth it.

 

From Men to Women and in between there are differences.

Some cry and some are angry.

But Man to Women and in between…

 

All of us have emotions.

All of us should be able to share them without judgment.

All the ups and downs all year round.

 

Men cry as Women do.  

 

 

Not a Duck!

Have you ever heard the saying 'If it looks like a duck, swims like, and quacks like a duck, it's a duck!'?

 

This popped into my head when I was thinking about disabilities that are not easy to recognise. The key word in this saying is 'like', if you look 'like' the average person you are more likely to have your needs overlooked, and have to ask for what you need, or worse not be believed after you have explained, or have to give evidence that you need supports. Advocacy and asking for things can be exhausting.

 

As someone with less recognisable differences, I know this to be true. Not everyone is the same. There are so many conditions that are not easy to see, but are there, nevertheless. It is sometimes nice not to have to explain and be seen as disabled (less bullying and discrimination when I graduated high school- no more 'trolly girl'). For we that don't always show symptoms we question 'do I need this? Am I disabled enough? Surely other people need this more...?' When I look in the mirror I see a young woman that 'looks like' a 'normal' person. It's taken me a long time to say, wait a sec... I'm not and that's okay. I am learning to see me as me and what I can do not what everyone else can do. 

 

I have some things that are different, that have made me strong, and unique and more interesting. I'm colourful. When I think about it so is each duck. We all have different shades, and we need to be able to let them shine, and feel safe enough to do so. Be honest with one another and letting each other see that all of us, including the murky colours. All of us have challenges and last year that became more obvious than ever. We are all of us multicoloured. Let's work together.

Life is more fun when we can all shine. 

Dear you...

Dear you who I miss.

Dear you who I remember.

Dear you who I envision as I write.

 

You were my Grandma.

When I did something (happy or shameful) your arms were there.

Grandma, Mother, Wife, and dear friend, your mere presence a haven.

 

Softly lighting and warming a room with (what my Mum named) your 'secret smile'.

You secretly liked it when Granddad said something soppy. 

Responding with an 'Oh, Ian!' 

 

Ian brought you tea and a song each morning.

Anne, Sue, Bruce, Graeme love and joy. 

So much you gave up your job! Someone had to raise them.

Then it grew to Grandkids. Dan, Bron, Meg, Matt and then family pets Thomas the cat and dogs Dobby, Choo, and Finley. You loved us and were a lifeline for our parents who we drove up the wall.

But, according to the fridge magnet, one of the reasons you have children is so you can have grandchildren, and you spoiled us rotten.  You gave so many fun memories of silly games and songs, books, puzzles, and museum trips and more. Every day with you full of joy for me. 

I was so sad when you left us, I only celebrated Christmas because I remembered that you would have. 

So, I sung and put-up lights where my housemates could enjoy them, thinking of you as I did. Because whatever happens Christ still came into the world knowing he would suffer, die (be separated from his father), and rise again. 

That gives me hope. For you died knowing and believing that you. Because of that we (and other Christians) believe we will get to see each other again because Christ did not come and die for nothing. He died to bring us into God's family.

So, one day I will see you, and Aunty Anne, and Nanna Jo and everyone else who has died knowing and believing in Christ and trusting him, will be as one family.

Now let us rejoice and be glad, even though we mourn, for the shining hope that Christmas brings.

Whatever tomorrow and next year brings let us remember.

"For this is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it!'

Psalm 118:24 ESV

I miss my Grandma... reader who do you miss? 

 

Dream…

Some are told not to dream. To think and strive for small things.

Small things are good. Big things too.

But we all must dream. To have goals, something to aim for.

So, even if it does not turn into a reality, I will dream.

To buy a place to live with a garden and a dog.

One day a husband to love and support.

Even if my dreams do not become reality,

At least for now,

These are my dreams.

What do you dream?

 

As a support worker in Australia, part of my job is to support people in setting up goals to work towards. This is often broken down into smaller goals. For example, wanting to attend a course in person requires easy access to the classroom. Once completing their course, this person can start to work on the bigger goal of finding employment.

But often, for those with disability, the community is not set up for this to be easy. It should be easier, but it is not. Advocating is hard, and needs support from others and ears to listen, and eyes to see that they are capable and can be an asset as people who come with differences can see things from a different angles, that average person cannot.

If you have a disability, (myself included with mild Cerebral Palsy), dreaming of a job that you want is not always seen in a positive light. You may be told that you need to think small, to go for easier options. This is a shame. It comes from a lack of understanding and willingness to adapt for those who live with extra challenges.

Yes, some jobs cannot be adapted to fit the person. You could not employ a pilot who is blind. But you encourage them to look for a job in the tourism industry. For example, a tour guide who is blind would notice things about a place that others may not. The smells, the feels, the sounds… these are enhanced.  And yes, support may be needed, but who does not need support when they start a new job?

If we employ all kinds of people, with diverse abilities, we can learn and grow more as a community. I have learnt so much by simply listening, discussing, being open to being wrong, and coming up with ideas with all kinds of individuals.

So, go on… I urge you… talk with someone different than you, see the world at a different angle, and help one another to learn and grow.  

Trauma

 

Everyone has a different experience and relationship with Trauma.

This is mine…

 

I have been thinking about Trauma recently. My own experience and that of others.

Trauma is hard to recover from, it takes time, as with every emotional hurt.

Sometimes I wish it would ‘hurry up’ so I could be ‘normal’ again.

Then I recall that my reaction that my Nanna Jo dying suddenly in a house fire is ‘normal’.

 

By working with and supporting clients, friends, and family I have started to learn more about how common, unique to each person and complex a thing is Trauma.

Trauma, I think, is developed to help us pause and acknowledge and process our pain.

When hard things happen, Trauma turns up.

For me, I had some physical symptoms, nausea, shakes, panic attacks, muscle tension causing migraines and vison disturbances, smoke sensitivity, sudden cramping of my uterus (part of PMDD having fun with me, it reacts to stress by tensing my uterus… bodies are strange and sometimes a bit self-destructive).

So, I went to my GP who specialises in women’s health. The first thing she asked me was “are you talking with anyone about this?” when I replied “mostly my boyfriend” she gently stated “No… I mean book in with your phycologist”.

She is an excellent and compassionate GP. She did not dismiss the physical symptoms due to my emotions. Sent me off for a blood test and checked my blood pressure. Turns out, like a lot of women I was iron deficient. 22/30 was low enough that I was asked to take supplements for three months. Good news, now it is almost at 30 (healthy range) so I just eat more iron rich food combined with upping my citrus intake.

Anyway… slowly I did start to feel better. I had an appointment with my phycologist, talked about it with close friends and family, received hugs and support, all the good stuff.

Fire Training… was deeply triggering. I was so thankyou for my understanding and kind Chaplin at work who stood with me, talking softly in my ear, seeing me few the panic and the flash backs that made me cry convulsively afterwards. I love her for that. I was so very relieved that I had already told her what had happened, so she intuitively stood with me.  

If you are recovering from Trauma know that I would always be willing to stand by you, to be your support person, to hold you while you cry and listen as you talk it out. I had people to do that for me and I would not consider myself in recovery now if they had not been there for me during this time. I found a helpful phrase during Fire Training was “it’s not the same fire” and then, with instruction, I extinguished the flame. Pick a phrase if you find it helpful, and people you can talk to. Face your fear and seek advice from health care professionals. They help a lot. I saw GP, Physio, and Phycologist. Who is on your team?

The most important thing is to have people you can talk to, fall apart in front of without feeling self-conscious. This is important. Find your people. People who have been where you are and can genuinely tell you ‘it’s going to suck for a while… then it really does get better’

So, to my health care team, to my close friends, to my family, my boyfriend, and the Chaplin at work and my colleagues and parents of my clients…

THANKYOU!

May everyone be as blessed as I am to have people in their lives that they can be comfortable enough to be real with and receive deep support from.

You guys are wonderful.

"Sorry"

 

“Sorry” used too little…

“Sorry” I am upset and showing it.

“Sorry” I bumped into you, in your way.

Women (and others) do these apologies a lot.

 

“Sorry” too little used…

“Sorry” It was my fault; how can I help?

“Sorry” I will try to do better and need some help.

Men (and others) could do this more.

 

“Sorry” can mean so many things.

“Sorry” has a reason behind it.

“Sorry” is used when quite a lot or little is felt.

Every person, whoever they are, can rethink the use of this word.