I felt the call.
The call of faith
To accept and help
Those that do not fit
In a world reluctant
to change
So sorry for not
getting it
The way everyone else
does
It is not consistently
said
Editing who you are is
painful.
I have been there.
Like too many have
It is not even or
fair.
listen, ask, think,
and act.
How can I make this
better?
Everyone has a different experience and relationship with Trauma.
This is mine…
I have been thinking about Trauma recently. My own experience and that
of others.
Trauma is hard to recover from, it takes time, as with every emotional
hurt.
Sometimes I wish it would ‘hurry up’ so I could be ‘normal’ again.
Then I recall that my reaction that my Nanna Jo dying suddenly in a
house fire is ‘normal’.
By working with and supporting clients, friends, and family I have
started to learn more about how common, unique to each person and complex a
thing is Trauma.
Trauma, I think, is developed to help us pause and acknowledge and
process our pain.
When hard things happen, Trauma turns up.
For me, I had some physical symptoms, nausea, shakes, panic attacks,
muscle tension causing migraines and vison disturbances, smoke sensitivity, sudden
cramping of my uterus (part of PMDD having fun with me, it reacts to stress by
tensing my uterus… bodies are strange and sometimes a bit self-destructive).
So, I went to my GP who specialises in women’s health. The first thing
she asked me was “are you talking with anyone about this?” when I replied “mostly
my boyfriend” she gently stated “No… I mean book in with your phycologist”.
She is an excellent and compassionate GP. She did not dismiss the
physical symptoms due to my emotions. Sent me off for a blood test and checked
my blood pressure. Turns out, like a lot of women I was iron deficient. 22/30
was low enough that I was asked to take supplements for three months. Good news,
now it is almost at 30 (healthy range) so I just eat more iron rich food
combined with upping my citrus intake.
Anyway… slowly I did start to feel better. I had an appointment with my
phycologist, talked about it with close friends and family, received hugs and
support, all the good stuff.
Fire Training… was deeply triggering. I was so thankyou for my
understanding and kind Chaplin at work who stood with me, talking softly in my
ear, seeing me few the panic and the flash backs that made me cry convulsively
afterwards. I love her for that. I was so very relieved that I had already told
her what had happened, so she intuitively stood with me.
If you are recovering from Trauma know that I would always be willing to
stand by you, to be your support person, to hold you while you cry and listen
as you talk it out. I had people to do that for me and I would not consider myself
in recovery now if they had not been there for me during this time. I found a
helpful phrase during Fire Training was “it’s not the same fire” and then, with
instruction, I extinguished the flame. Pick a phrase if you find it helpful,
and people you can talk to. Face your fear and seek advice from health care
professionals. They help a lot. I saw GP, Physio, and Phycologist. Who is on
your team?
The most important thing is to have people you can talk to, fall apart
in front of without feeling self-conscious. This is important. Find your
people. People who have been where you are and can genuinely tell you ‘it’s
going to suck for a while… then it really does get better’
So, to my health care team, to my close friends, to my family, my
boyfriend, and the Chaplin at work and my colleagues and parents of my clients…
THANKYOU!
May everyone be as blessed as I am to have people in their lives that they
can be comfortable enough to be real with and receive deep support from.
You guys are wonderful.
