The Fight

 When will they hear us and respond/

When will we receive more than tokenisum?

When will everyone have equal rights?

Why can't we fix the world?

Why can't we make a start?

Why do we have to be loud to be acknowlged?

I pray for an end to red tape.

I pray for more kindness and compassion.

I pray for better and more understanding world leaders.

Till change in our leaders happens I will keep fighting.

Till the homeless have safe homes.

Till animals are treated with love and aren't used for human pleasure.

Till we stop hurting the land we live on and make real amends for it's brutal stealing.

Till everyone is activtly listened to by those in power and are involved in solving problems.

I will not give up the fight! Are you with me? 

Cat Calling

 Your call

For you was two secs

For me it was upward hackles

Made me want to get better at self defence 

Wish I wasn't wearing yoga pants 

Second call made me feel more angry that I felt this way

I wanted to enjoy my walk

To feel that relaxation. 

But not today.

That was not asked for. 

Can't I just feel safe in my neigbourhood?

As long as your attitude remains

I can't walk this way

Yoga pants are not so you stare at me.

I wore them to feel comfortable on my walk.

Not so you could make me feel unsafe and insecure. 

The only person allowed to comment on how nice the pants make my bum look is lying in the bed next to me each night. 

Through trust, affection and respect of me as a full person. 

This is the sort of man I married. 

Unless you change your attitude towards women,  your not going to know the many privileges of marriage. 

If you are, than I'm sorry for your wife.

Do better. 

I'm not a dog to be whistled at.

Nor a paining being admired.

I'm a human being who should get to relax walking in her yoga pants at 5:30 pm and any other time of night. 

It's not as funny as you think.

Cat calling instills fear, is an act of verbal aggression, and isn't at all friendly or a complement.

Stop.

Graveyard

 A place to reflect.

To acknowledge.

Lives been and passed.

 

To observe footsteps in history.

Young women died in childbirth.

A miner and his mates.

 

To take time for the fallen

People who fought for our freedom

 

Similarities and differences.

People banding together in the same plot, different family name.

 

What are we doing with our today?

Are we banned together, or apart?

Do we still fight for justice and better treatment for those less privileged than we are?

 

Have you considered what will be written on your gravestone? Tree? Or marker?

‘a life well lived’, ‘at peace’, ‘he is risen’?

Yours may be different than mine.

“Don’t let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me. There is more than enough room in my Father’s home. If this were not so, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you? When everything is ready, I will come and get you, so that you will always be with me where I am. And you know the way to where I am going.”

“No, we don’t know, Lord,” Thomas said. “We have no idea where you are going, so how can we know the way?”

 

Jesus told him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me. If you had really known me; you would know who my Father is. From now on, you do know him and have seen him!” John 14 1-7

Mine will say.

‘There will come a day the Lord did say, when my people will be made new . I will bring them back to me, and they will be made new’.

For that is my hope as a Christian.

I pray that others might read it and reflect so that it may be there’s too.

Marriage

 re than the wedding day

It is

Learning to live together

The entwining of our hair at the bottom of the shower

Learning the other's likes and dislikes in a whole new way

Giving one another space and coming together

Spending time our new family

Remembering to make time for friends

Exploring new and old things and places

Loving all of eachother

Marriage is an expression of God's love for humanity

It's a beautiful thing.

I love every part of being married

All of the parts.

Especially the hard ones

They make highlight the joys

It is

Playing your husband's leg like an instrument without verbal communication

Taking our dog to new places.

Showing ToeBeans it is to be a beloved dog

Our little family

Carving out time to spend together

Finding the things important to us

Making new routines and starting new traditions as a family

Enjoying simple things together

Appreciating older couples

Deliberate time to spend with our  single friends, not rubbing it in their faces

Understanding when we do and doing better.
Marriage isn't consistently easy

But being married to you, my husband is something I expect and pray that I will always be grateful and glad of.

Thankyou God for blessing me with my husband.

He's the best one I could ask for.

Women's Pain

 Painful periods aren't normal 

They aren't something we need to put up with

Science has made strides and we use the tools offered to us.

Every woman has a different experience with their body and their pain.

This is mine.

Trouble is that some GPs don't take women's pain seriously. 

When I was 16 Mum had to take me to see the GP for crops so bad I had to skip school because I threw up my painkillers.

I was nauseous, in a lot of pain, and always got depressed and extra anxious a week or two before I bled. Not to mention the heavy bleeding, headaches and the sweating till my painkillers kicked in.

All that information wasn't enough for this GP to be considered. 

She had a quick feel of my abdomen and said 'if it doesn't hurt now you'll be fine, just take stronger painkillers'

Well, that did help a little. 

But it didn't address the actual problem. 

The problem was I thought 'okay, I guess that's it then, I'll just need to cope'.

Coping looked like not being able to participate in usual activities. 

Coping ment missing out and being late for group photos.

Coping ment being pulled in my supperiser and my manager. 

It was clear to them that I wasn't coping.

I wasn't getting work completed. 

I was having emotional breakdowns. 

I was folding over and calasping to the pain.

My now husband saw this with fresh eyes and a loving heart.

He knew this wasn't 'normal'

He urged me to see another GP.

I spoke to this GP.

She said, that sounds like endometrios. 

She also said the PMS was something we could also treat. 

She put me on the pill, after discussing a few options with me.

I was also seeing an good psychologist.

I watched education videos and came across Hannah Witton.

She's a sex educator and has a disability. 

She talks to other women.

Listening to other's experiences really helped.

I've had ADHD since I was a child.

PMDD (Pre-Menstrual Dysphoric Disorder) 

Is pretty common in women with ADHD

I discussed this with my psychologist before going back to my GP.

She gave me my first pill packet (YAZ)

Things changed from then.

The pill worked well, balanced my hormones, and gave me lighter and less painful periods that I could actually go to to work with. 

Unfortunately due to a migraine with aura

I had to stop taking the pill.

I got the Mirena IUD put in today at clinic 66 in Chastwood.

Shout out to the skilled nurses, doctors and understanding receptionists.

I was nervous but they helped me calm my anxious head.

It's in and we'll see how it goes.

Pray for not PMDD, and development of Endometrios or Adomentios. 

Thank God for the good medical professionals and the scientists that make these things possible. 

Help links

https://www.endometriosisaustralia.org/

https://helloclue.com/

Faith

 Take me back 

to when my faith was young 

To things unbroken 

To words unspoken 

But if you did that 

This mulberry tree wouldn't be 

As tall, as nobly, as steadfast

Holding firm to this hard rock around it

The trees around me are older

Have endured than I

As I grow older I admire them

As as they are embraced in the soil ground 

New Beginings

Our Wedding Day

 

We got Married at the end of August last year.

My nerves flowed through my body as I prepared to walk down the aisle.

Mum and Dad linked arms with me 'it's time'

 

Heart so full of love and beating strong in my chest, limbs shaking, and absolutely certain.

As soon as I saw my husband and my hands were in his, I calmed, as he held my hands and he had to stop my launching myself to embrace him and kiss him there and then.

 

Looking into his eyes I felt so safe and full of joy, bubbling up with laughter and overflowing with gratitude, for making it to this day together. 

Standing there with our friends and family around us and me in the dress my Mum had lovingly made, with jewellery from each matriarch of my family (me being the 3rd women of Mum's side to wear the pendant bracelet). I had eaten Weetabix and banana that morning, remembering my morning breakfasts with my Auntie Anne, often before a bush walk, and how pleased she would have been to meet the man holding my hands.

 

And as we sang 'How Great Thou Art' together with our friends and family I felt that I could not have picked a better one for this beautiful day with the gum trees around us, all in bright colours and native flowers around us. 

 

Vows exchanged, lips connected, and it felt so good to hold my husband that I didn't want to stop and told him so, he replied 'we have to stop sometime!' with a big grin on his face.

His whole demeaner showing me just how deeply he loved me right back. 

 

We sat with our bridal party and one of my bridesmaids held my bouquet (apparently she wanted to give it back to me as it was heavy), I didn't focus that well on what our minister was saying, as I clasped the hands of, and lent against my strong, gentle and kind husband, and appreciated the brief talk on our bible passages we'd chosen. 

 

Proverbs 18:22 'The man who finds himself a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favour from the Lord' NLT chosen by my husband

 

Colossians 3:12-17 'Since God chose you to be a holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tender-hearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. 

Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body, you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful. 

Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives. Teach and counsel each other with all the wisdom he gives. Sing psalms and hymns, and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts. 

And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father.'

 

We signed the paperwork with my Auntie Sue and His Uncle Alex, as my brother and his wife sang and Andy played the guitar, for the hymn 'Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing'.

 

Then we were officially Mr and Mrs Lampa! 

When we re-entered after the bridal party there was cheering, delicious food, speeches of thankfulness, laughter and storytelling, dancing, cutting of the cake (made wonderfully by Elijah's cousin Hazel).

Then we drove out as everyone blew bubbles and shared in our joy.

 

It was over in 6hrs. The first day of what I hope and pray will be a glorious and blessed marriage.

 

Our Honeymoon

We went to Hamilton Island.

Sea, sand, mountains, animals, and artwork.

Snorkelling, visiting animals, and the art gallery, and eating by the sea.

We walked around the Island and took the time to bereave out together.

 

At the end I climbed the mountain.

I looked out at the islands and the sea and sang praises and thankfulness to God my Father.

For our wonderful friends and family that had helped us in the lead up, and on our wedding day.

Most especially for being blessed to have such a wonderfully husband who knows how to calm me down and make me laugh every day. And for our new expanded family.

 

Everyone is so deer to us and I will always remember those who came to my kitchen tea and being sung the Lewis Bridal song by members of my Gaelic choir, and all the wise words, hugs and thoughtful notes with the recipe book in my bookshelf.

 

I was a good honeymoon. Time well spent.

 

Our Big Friendly Giant 

When we got home, we pre-pared to bring home a new member of our family.

He had been chosen for us by Greyhound rescue.

We took a photo of Toe Beans space once we had shopped for him (bed, toys, and blankets).

The day after we went to meet him.

He warmed up to us quickly and was wagging his tail as he picked out a toy, after we signed the paperwork, and got him some bowls, treats, and a Hound Tee.

We had a borrow and send back his harness because the ones in the little shop didn't fit him.

The lovely kennel manager helped us bring him to the car and showed us how to secure him using his lead. Everyone wanted to say their goodbyes to our sweet boy, who they had all helped to heal from racing and get ready for his family (us!).

After his first roach, (when he lay on his back with his legs in the air), I took him for his first walk.

 

Seven months in, he snuggles on the couch with us, is very vocal and wags his tail even in his sleep, and rubs his head against us when we come home from works. He roaches a LOT! 

It's so wonderful to know that when he received neglect of his health and wellbeing, by the racing industry, for the first 5 and a half years of his life, he has been saved to be loved and cherished, safe with his new family,

Greyhound rescue matched him with us and saved him.

We could be more grateful for the fact that they, and others like them, (those that recued and cared for my parents abused greyhound Bree - a beautiful black and white girl), give these dogs a new life.

 

Where they are free from abuse and are loved and appreciated.

 

The way they always should have been 

 

Proverbs 31:8

 

'Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves. 

ensure justice for those being crushed'

 

My prayer is as we continue to share in our life together we will keep looking out and caring for others, and that God may continue to bless us with the opportunity to change lives for the better. 

 

Muscles

Muscles.

Butch

Strong 

Tough 

Fierce 

These aren't words that come to mind 

when hearing the words

'Cerebral Palsy'

At least not for the first time.

But they are for me.

In fact, I would use these to describe

others with CP and other physical disabilities.

My Papa's nickname for me as a kid was 'Muscles'.

When he died of smoking and alcohol induced problems

I thought that maybe that was some cruel joke.

But with refection... now I know better.

I think that he saw my inner strength.

Say my ability to fall off a horse and get back on.

To power through the challenges with my disability,

particularly in daily life and at school.

Papa watched me grow and get stronger every day.

Now I'm developing actual muscle through home workouts.

To do that I've had to dedicate time and energy and push through.

Proving wrong what a lot of people may thinking of me,

A women with mild Cerebral Palsy.

And that I can be proud of.

My Papa made a lot of mistakes.

My Mum thinks if he hadn't have dealt with his trauma 

using smoking and alcohol he may have been a better man.

I think there is a little of the strength of the 19-year-old who fled 

The war in Croatia  in the 60's in me.

Every time I encourage and see someone's confidence build.

Every time I vote despite the crowds and unfamiliar people

Every time I don't drink and appreciate my fiancée’s commitment 

to me and to not smoke anymore. 

Every time we are patient and talk to each other about what our lives have been

We look to the future now.

I think Papa may have offered my future husband a beer 

It was how he showed respect and acceptance of someone.

This is how I remember my Papa.

What now?

Now we wait 

It is finished

He is alive

 

Do you believe it?

When witnessed?

When touched?

 

Will you spread the word?

Will you rejoice?

Will you prepare for his coming?

 

What will you do now?

Receive the holy spirit?

Sing out to your saviour?

 

Tell the story of Easter 

On the Floor

 I can't fall

I'm supported

On the floor

Done for the day

For some the floor is evaded.

Not being able to arise themselves,

Independance as been removed.

A stable chair is much prefered.

Being on the floor

Is different for everyone

Some use it for rest, meals, 

and sharing stories.

So... what does it mean?

On the floor...

Careers

 Dedication: To careers you are amazing people who admire and respect greatly.

 

Unseen. In the background. Consistent.

Always there. Struggling to switch off.

I see you.

 

As a support worker and human being, I stand with you.

I am privileged to help you switch off.

Respite because you love the person you care for.

For a day, or just a few hours, you can be a member of their family again.

 

Because you know that I’m on team. I’ve got them.

I’m traveling alongside you. We delight together in the little moments.

You can take a step back, catch your breath, and know your person is okay.

Carers do a great deal without pay or time off.

 

I will fight with you for the whole family, not just the person I’m supporting.

Everyone should be considered worth the effort.

By supporting you and those around my client, my client thrives.

Centrelink, NDIS, a GP, or a specialist. I’ll make sure that we lift-up your person.

 

Because everyone deserves to have their voice listened to.

Not just the person receiving support but the people around them too.

Their family and team’s wellbeing are important.

How can a client do well when their career is burnt out?

I am privileged to be part of a client's support team.

I will be there to work with, acknowledge,

and respect everyone within their team.

Everyone has value.

1 Corinthians 12 NLT vs 22

'In fact, some parts of the body that seem weakest and least important are actually the most necessary.'

 

Granddad

 Our ‘Rolly Polly Pudding’

Reims of verses of poetry from his mouth.

Such a memory!

He investigated and remembered the Campbell history.

As did his Mc Donald friend!

 

He had many musings and songs.

From ‘Here comes the Tea’ for Grandma

To ‘Postman Pete with the Smelly Feet’ for Holiday Club

 

He loved reading and passed the joy of reading on

Often falling asleep reading a favourite book in his favourite chair

Grandma and Granddad’s book room smelled amazing!

A book was appreciated if it was annotated.

My Granddad edited my early poems.

 

He loved T.V. shows that made him chuckle and Grandma’s shoulders shake.

He rewatched Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter with his children towards the end.

Like my Granddad I get annoyed if a movie is very different from the book.

 

It is hard to feel sad that he isn’t here anymore.

Because I know that he is right where he wants to be.

At peace, joining Grandma and Auntie Anne.

Singing God’s praises as he is now.

As he dreamed of for many a year.

Especially when sitting on a steam train.

 

 

 

 

How Precious

Dedication: for some beloved friends of mine and their precious son.

How precious is a moment.

When tiny infant is dying.

When you say goodbye.

Times when sleep avades you.

This is when we treasure most.

Our memmories...

We fully absorb each moment.

For while they don't last forever...

In recolection they last for a time.

Memmory is such a gift.

Perhaps that is why Dementia is so painful.

The gift is taken away.

But it is something shared stroungly by others.

When one forgets, another recalls.

All stand together, sharing these moments.

One that I will hold dear is that of little Daniel.

A little star that shined who's light is held and will not be forgoten.

This poem is for him and his parents and family.

May we not forget that he lived and was so loved.

Let us share in the preious memmory of little Daniel. 

Dead Flowers

 I stopped and stared at dead flowers in a vase.

This      is     how      I     feel.       

Slowly drooping.

Running out of life,

not enough of the things that help me thrive.

 

So, I hold on to the little things, little bits of hope left.

Walking with a friend or family member.

Hugs and time with my partner (only person I'm allowed to hug) 

Zoom meet ups (sometimes helping and sometimes just makes me miss people).

Recently grading to orange belt in Karate online with one of my clients. 

Going to work and supporting others through this time of uncertainty.

 A testing centre in Concord that I can walk to along the river and amongst trees.

Having had both my vaccines done months ago brings me reassurance.

 

Life is frustrating and confusing.

The rules keep changing and it’s hard to keep up.

The restrictions and all the thigs I must do to continue support work.

Testing every three days, mask on, ID’s, work permit, and vaccination proof.

My phone must be changed in case I get stopped and I’m on high alert.

 

Yet at least we are all in the vase together.

We’re all finding things hard.

If we hold together onto hope…

perhaps water will come soon.

The more we get vaccinated, I think, the more we have.

 

Please, be careful out there and get vaccinated soon as you can.

Stay safe and keep it safe.

For everyone.

We are all in this together. Like it or not.

Words Have Impact

 

I heard a word thrown out upon the wind.

‘Spaz’. I took a breath.

Thinking… there’s that word.

After all the strives we’re made…

Still… this man talking to his partner pushing a stroller…

uses this expression… flipping it out into the world.

Using it to complain about a mistake that was made.

 

Why?

 

Perhaps he does not know what it means.

As a person who is part of the disabled community…

I do.

Trauma, advocacy, hospital visits, fighting for acceptance, and being so very, very tired.

And that is just one word.

There are so many other triggering words.

Be careful what you say.

Listen and be open to change.

As ‘Too Peas in a Podcast’ say:

‘Know better, do better’.

 

 

 

Under a Tree

 Come with me with brain a buzz

Sit under this tree. Breathe, look, and feel.

Watch the ant climb the roots. 

Listen to the leaves that provide shade.

Feel the earth beneath and the bark at your back, so firm.

Hear the words of the Lord within you.

Peaceful is faith as firm as this tree in the ground. 

The Call

I felt the call.

The call of faith

To accept and help

Those that do not fit

In a world reluctant to change

 

So sorry for not getting it

The way everyone else does

It is not consistently said

Editing who you are is painful.

 

I have been there.

Like too many have

It is not even or fair.

listen, ask, think, and act.

How can I make this better?  

Look Beyond

 

Look beyond.

Beyond prejudice.

Beyond opinion.

Beyond yourself.

 

Look ahead.

At the person here.

Not far away. Not in rule books.

There is compassion needed here.

 

Look inside.

In your community.

Question what your reactions are and why.

For together we can make change.

If we listen and give voice to everyone.

 

Can you be sure that your response reflects Christ?

He included outcasts. The exclude and the judged.

People who were pushed aside and told to be quiet.

He encouraged and empowered women and all people.

Will we do the same?

 

“Whatever you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all for the God’s glory…”

1 Corithians 10:31

" Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and edification". 

Romans 14:19

“there is neither jew nor gentile, slave nor free, nor is there male nor female, 

for you are all one in Jesus Christ." 

Galatians 3:28

Speak for the Voiceless

 

There are some. The voiceless.

There are some. Weary and numb.

There are some. Invisible and quiet.

 

There are some. Not able to speak.

There are some. Who cover their pain.

There are some. Who say, “This is the way it is.”

 

Come and seek. Look and take and encourage.

Come and seek. Advocate for fairness.

Come and seek. Lift and make clear a message quiet and sincere.  

 

For there is persecution.

For there is pain dismissed.

For there is prejudice and protest.

 

Here we stand… together.

Everyone has the right to speak.

Not just on International Women’s Day.  

Proverbs 31:8 (NLT)

"Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves; ensure justice for those being crushed."

 

 

 

Knowledge

Knowledge learnt

Knowledge felt

Knowledge understood

Knowledge taken for granted 

Knowledge of listening and asking questions

Knowledge of what is to come 

Knowledge linked with hope

Knowledge linked with empathy 

Knowledge linked with faith

As a Christian I have learnt and feel the knowledge. 

I know that Jesus will come back a restored and heal.

He will welcome in all that recognise and rejoice in his call.

Romans 10:13-15 (NLV) 

"For everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved from the punishment of sin.

But how can they call on him if they have not put their trust in him? And how can they put their trust in him if they have not heard of him? And how can they hear of him unless someone tells them.

To me, this knowledge is a blessing that should be shared to the ends of the earth. 

What knowledge is a blessing to you?